Emotional Breakdown

Sighh, I have been very emotional lately. I know my college mates would think it's because of what Ms. Judith said (girls tend to be in denial and later on depression especially after break ups) but seriously no, it's not because of that i'm so emotional. I think it's cuz the stress level in me has reached maximum this time. I have ESL tutorial on Monday and bio CT2 the day after that. And there is so much to do for ESL. Have to prepare slides and brochures. It drove me nuts just getting them done this whole week. And i have to present and answer questions in 10 minutes which i dont think it's enough. Kinda worried that i'll exceed the time limit. And till now, i havent even started revising my bio. Oh gosh, i'm so dead!

And to add to my stress level, my kitty Ace has been missing for a week. I'm starting to really worry about him. Kinda scared that he got knocked down by a car or something. Sighh, so many things happening at once, i just cant handle them. I'm so used to asking where's Ace when i'm back form college that now, when i ask, my heart would clinch a bit. It's not likely for him to be away for so long, especially when he comes back for food all the time. :(:(

This is the time when i feel like running to the hills and screaming to release everything. It's all building up inside me that the only way to let it out now is by crying and taking a hot bath. I swear, if this continues, i'm literally gona end up being a psycho. :S

College All Over Again

Pheeew, it's the second day of semester 2 and i'm already feeling very pressured. Got reminded so many times that our trials is only 3 months away. Chem practical test 2 and Maths Directed Investigation is on Friday, both giving very high internal marks. Sighhh, come back only, got tests and assignments. Study study study.

I wont blog that much anymore due to heavy workload and everything. To get an ATAR of 90 and above is not so easy after listening to the talk today. Shall have to buck up more. We were given a task of doing 10 Maths MASA questions a week. Gosh, that's gona use a whole lot of brain juice.

Shall stuuuudyyyy! Cannot procrastinate! I always say this but i still procrastinate. Tsk, lesson not learnt.

Life Still Goes On

Had lunch with suren and rach at korean food although suren didn't eat anything. Rach treated me ice cream at New Zealand Natural, for the sake of cheering me up. Thank you buddy :)

I feel better today but that suffocating feeling will suddenly struck me at times. Like i feel i cant breathe for a moment, feeling very depressed and down. I think i just havent got used to it yet. Like one moment there is someone special and the next moment he's not my someone special anymore. It feels very weird at the start so yeah, understandable i guess? But i'm really grateful that i have great friends. I've been asked whether i'm okay almost every minute. I feel blessed and touched knowing that i can count on them and i have their support all the time. I don't know how to thank you guys but i appreciate all your concerns and support. Don't worry, i'll get over this pain :)

 I'm not gona commit suicide okay, yen thin! I know i cried a lot on friday but did i sound 'like there-is-no-sunrise-tomorrow'? Okay, maybe i sounded half dead or maybe even dead but that's freaking insane! I'll not dump my life 6 feet underground just because of a broken heart. I haven't driven my lamborghini yet please. And, seriously, i wont.

My life still goes on, i have 4 months to my finals and i realise i realy dont have time to waste anymore. I need to start bucking up my studies. Looking at my grades on portals yesterday made me realise that i can actually get better grades if i don't procrastinate and study consistently. My grades weren't that bad. It was satisfactory but i know i can do way better. Getting an ATAR of 90+ will be what i need to aim for now. Hot guys have to wait. I cant mend a broken heart in a few weeks. I need a lot of time and studies will be first for now.

Anyhow, i love you guys and thank you :):)

It's The End of A Sweet Chapter

Back in Malaysia already. Had great fun in Bali except for the fact that my blackberry didn't work the entire trip. I didn't have roaming whatsoever. Anyways, whole trip was amazing. Will do a post about it when i'm free and in the mood.

For now, I'm just trying to let go of him. It just wasnt meant to be and i know this relationship was going no where. It was happy and sweet while it lasted but since i don't have a choice but to let go, i shall let go then. I know some of you reading this would be blur cuz nobody actually knows i had a guy in my life. It was too private and was not supposed to happen from the start. But, anyhow, no regrets. I wont explain anything bout it and i really need lots of time to eventually get through it. I was attached to him and really loved him but hopefully with all my friends especially rach low, yen thin and viven, i can eventually let go of this. Thank you guys. Love you lots..

To yen thin, i know you read my blog all the time, so, thank you for being with me. I know you've been through all this with me, helping me all the time and eventually knocked some sense into me. I really appreciate it. From the start, you were telling me to not get into it but as stubborn as you know i am, i failed. Through all these times, you reminded me of so many things, but i just couldn't let go. Your 'scolding therapy' as you called it kinda helped a bit. And i know can really count on you, thank you for everything. I'm really okay, dont worry :)

To viven and rach, i know you guys are really worried about me but no worries guys, i'm fine and okay. I need time, you'll know that. I know i can count on you guys, thank you. Much love to you both as well.

Hopefully, i'll get through this fast enough and not let anything affect my studies. I wana pay attention to getting good grades for now. And guys, please dont ask me anything, i don't feel like talking about it.  :)

Away again :)

I was busy during the weekend so i didn't really manage to blog. Anyhow, i'm off for a holiday tomorrow so don't expect any posts.Will post up some pictures along the way while i'm there on facebook. But, i'm not going for sightseeing, more of shopping and walking around, so, expect to see pictures of funny stuff than interesting places. :) I'm more excited to see the family suite than anything else now.

By the time i'm back from my holiday, it's the end of my 2 weeks holidays and clases start again next monday. A big sighhhhh. :(

Shall buck up on my studies since i touch nothing at all and lord, results. Just don't wana get it back somehow. Don't wana get disappointed again although i did okay?

Enjoy the last bit of your holidays! loveee :)

Food, and more food

Had lunch with Viven. Ate steamboat, yes steamboat for lunch. I loveeee steamboat. I don't get why some people don't fancy steamboat. Actually, i only like the steamboat in DPC cause you have your own pot of soup rather than everyone digging into the same pot. Finally after so long, i got back my appetite. I lost quite a bit of weight the past few weeks cause of the stress i went through. Now, it's time to gain back the weight and by lost quite a bit of weight, i really did lose quite a bit, about 3 kilos. Imagine that! And no, i'm not exactly happy about it, i realise my clothes don't fit me that well anymore :(

So, it's time to indulgeee. Indulge in chocolate lava cake, tiramisu, and all the wonderful desserts that i missed. The bliss and the guilt :)

I have a weakness for desserts. I loveeee desserts okay, eventhough most are fattening. But, come on, desserts are so indulging, how can you not want it? I bet these pictures are making your stomach cringe.

;)